Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
