Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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