someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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