break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
