The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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