i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
