so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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