So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
