someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
