Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
