I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
