it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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