My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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