Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
