I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
