you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize