I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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