literally had 100 drinks last night.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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