his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize