You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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