The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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