I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
