The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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