Small penises have feelings too.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
