im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
