Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
