we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
