He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
