i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Welp...herpes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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