best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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