My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
