oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
