If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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