Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
