I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
