See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
