it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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