wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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