Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
