Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
