Porn is love you can see.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
