please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize