You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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