The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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