my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
4 words: hood of his car
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
