Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
