Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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