If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
