I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize