I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
