if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
