His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
