Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize