Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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