So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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