But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
