My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
