What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
