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I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
me + whiskey = a bad person
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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