I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
