it wasn't lemon gatorade
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
