He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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