just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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