Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
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Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize